I belive i have finally found the fianl course of my novella i know how it will end but the ending i will leave open ended for a possible sequel. I have been greatly inspired by the chareters technology and story telling of Star Trek voyager and its general plot has led me to how i want my story to end.
WARNING WALL OF TEXT INCOMING this will be the largest of the story sections i have posted so i woul reccomen grabbing a cup of coffiee and some chips.
Greg stirred and opened his eyes. “That is a pretty face to wake up to every morning. You are so handsome almost like an angel” Greg said softly. “You must be loosing your eye sight if you think I’m handsome.” Sean Said sticking out his tongue. “You’re so immature.” Greg muttered. “I know” Sean replied with a grin. Sean always made fun of his looks but by most standards he was just as handsome as Greg he was just a bit taller and more well muscled and his hair was as black a the night sky, while his eyes were like a pair of fine emeralds. The two got out of bed showered and got dressed they went down the street to the diner their pistols strapped to their thighs.
For citizens of the Middle city Greg and Sean were very well off and had almost saved up enough to move to the upper city Greg was very well educated and could have been a politician. But when Greg told his father that he was homosexual he threw him out on the street and Greg had hoped to come to the lower city in search of work though there was none to be had. Sean had petitioned the local governor and his father had been imprisoned for discrimination and reckless endangerment and was still serving a 20 year prison term. Greg’s Mother had sent Greg a check every month since his father threw him out that nearly doubled their monthly income in fact after a week more of saving they would have enough to buy a home in the upper city. After breakfast the two went home and Sean got ready for work. As Sean Walked down the street to the bar a strange feeling of danger seemed to tug at the back of his mind his hand slid down to his Laser pistol. He looked behind him two men were following him he picked up his pace dodging down a back alley and coming down the street to were he worked his boss was standing on the side walk in front of the bar he saw Sean running and the men following he grabbed his Plasma scatter gun and met Sean in the street the two men following both pulled laser pistols but the old bar owner was faster he threw Sean to the ground and fired his massive weapon one man slammed into the ground dead and the other duck down to the ground and was shot in the back of the head by another man who had been passing by, he was one of the bar’s regulars. The old bar owner reached down and hauled Sean to his feet.
“Christ kid.” he muttered “Are you trying to get your self killed? Who were those goons?”
“I don’t know Lenny they followed me from home.”
The third man came jogging over to them. The weapons he just looted from the two thugs in his hands.
“What was that about Lenny?” The patron grumbled
”No idea Fred, any idea who they are?”
“Looked like a pair of Juna’s hit men to me carrying her marks anyway.” Fred said in a matter of fact tone.
“Juna, as in the crime boss?” Sean asked
“Looks that way son. What ever you did to piss her off was probably not the wisest decision, but compared to Doctor Petrov and his connections you should be safe I’ll arrange for him to make sure se stays out of your hair. I hear she has been selling men as sex slaves to the solar empire maybe that’s why she was after you.” Fred said a look of concern came over his face.
Sean Instantly though of Greg and ran for home.
“Were you going?” Lenny Barked after him.
Sean ran faster than he thought was possible when he reached their home he immediately saw that the door had been cut through three dead bodies lay on the door step apparently Greg had overcome several of his assailants. Sean saw his laser rifle discarded on the floor blood stains on the stock another dead man lie near it. On the ground was the necklace Sean had bought Greg for his 21st birth day. Greg was no were to be found Sean was awash with emotions he felt a violent rage spark inside him he let out a cry that could have shaken a mountain. At that moment Doctor Petrov stepped through the door Particle Magnum in hand an entourage of well armed military looking men followed him. Doctor Petrov looked at Sean and asked.
“My dear child what happened?”
“Juna, her men kidnapped Greg I swear I will kill her for this.”
“Don’t worry Kid we’ll get the bastards and get your man back you come stay at the docs we’ll do some digging and see what we can find you go with the doc and get some rest.” The most commanding looking of Petrov’s men said.
“NO!” Sean Bellowed “I want that bitch dead and I want her dead now and I want my Greg back!”
Doctor Petrov placed a calming hand on Sean shoulder. “There is nothing we can do tonight we have to track Juna down even as well informed as I am I have no idea were Juna makes her base my men will track her down then we shall act I promise you. Now come I have a hover car waiting out side. You men inform me as soon as you find something.”
The doctor led Sean out to Cadillac hover car. The ride to the Doctor’s home was rather uneventful. When they reached the Doctor’s Home Sean observed that the Doctor’s new Villa looked like a fortress armed guards patrolled all around the grounds. The Large luxury hover car stopped in the garage the Petrov lead Sean into the house and the two sat down in the luxurious living room. Several minuets passed in silence until the doctor spoke.
“Don’t worry my men will find out were Greg is being held and then they will rescue him they are ex military and good men. I told them to call me as soon as they know something I Juna Is behind this I will personally se her entire Cartel brought down. I know you love Greg the two of you were planning to marry when you saved enough money to get to the upper city. We will find him I swear it!”
Petrov and Sean sat and spoke for several hours Petrov’s personal robotic butler catered to their every need. The Holoprojector in Petrov’s flickered to life with a live news report.
“Along the border the solar empire forces are massing military leaders are preparing for possible conflict. In other news gang warfare is on the verge of escalation in the middle City experts speculate that two of the major crime syndicates are on the brink of all out war. This has been Adrianna Jameson from the United Colonies News Network.”
Days passed and Petrov men were hot on Juna’s trail the two Crime syndicates had gone to war Juna’s men were ill prepared for the skill and ability of Petrov’s men soon his Syndicate covered twice the territory they once did. Juna had gone into hiding but she was being sniffed out like the filthy dog she was. Soon Juna had been cornered in her villa Petrov and Sean staged an assault on her villa with only a few casualties they found them selves in Juna’s office holding her at gun point her Guards dead all around her. Two of Petrov’s men broke into Juna’s quarters and carried Greg out having to support him for he was unable to stand. Sean ran over to him and enveloped him in his arms.
“Greg what did that bitch do to you.” Sean asked tears running down his cheeks
“I really of don’t want to discuss it” he said weakly.
Sean spun around his particle magnum in hand and fired, the globe of violent purple energy struck Juna’s Square in between the eyes her head vaporized her headless body flew back and slammed into the wall.
“Good shot.” Greg muttered
Sean took Greg into his arms squeezed him tightly. Petrov’s Men began cleaning up the mess made by the battle. After the syndicate war Sean and Greg took all the money in Juna’s Account witch Petrov first suggested with the money Greg and Sean moved to the upper city. They were soon married and Sean became one of the most influential senators in the UC senate becoming an advocate for being tougher on crime on in the lower city with the exception of Petrov’s syndicate Soon even the lowest districts of the city were patrolled by good police and governmental forces. Greg was able to pardon Doctor Petrov whom opened his own ring of hospitals in the lower districts and offered medical care at very affordable rates. The great city of earth became whole again but the war still raged in the greater galaxy we turn now to the tale of Admiral Peter Rostov who began in the early part of the war as a simple ship captain.
Captain Peter Rostov sat in the command chair e aboard the United Colonies Navy Destroyer Hamburg. He looked out the view port along the kilometer long bow of his ship. The best way to describe it would be to say it looked like a long cylinder with a cone shaped nose two large forward swept wings jutted out of the back of the ship the bridge sat atop a short tower twenty or so feet above the rest of the ship at her stern. The bridge was set atop the tower and it looked like a capital T with sloped ends. And on top of the bridge sat a large communications and sensor Tower. The ships armament consisted of one hundred 125mm point defense cannons Seventy two blood claw missile pods and a pair of large rail guns that both fired twenty ton slugs at near light speed velocity. It also carried 72 Halberd-class fighter-bombers.
Rostov was used to the normally boring border the solar empire and its Kaiser had remained quiet but tension among the two factions were ready to boil over. Several Solar empire ships had been spotted along the border near Mars. Rostov’s thoughts were broken by a shout from his science officer Lieutenant Preston.
“Sir we have spotted 4 Solar Empire Kodiak-class light cruisers entering the system from warp.”
“Open hailing frequencies lets see what they want.”
Rostov responded coolly
“Frequencies open sir.” Ensign Tao said in her icy voice
“Attention unidentified vessels this is the United Colonies destroyer Hamburg you have entered restricted space Under United Colonies law this could qualify as and act of war I recommend you turn for home now.”
A long silence was followed by a message from the Solar Empire ships.
“This is Commandant Granger of the cruiser Juno id recommend you stand down this system is now a property of the Kaiser!” Commandant Granger barked before cutting the connection.
“So much for diplomacy, signal the fleet. Prime our weapons and target one of those cruisers if one of them so much as flinches fire two slugs through his hull. Prepare to launch the Halberds on my mark. Let them make the first move.” Rostov used a more commanding tone he knew he was a junior officer with a junior crew he had to keep them in line.
The Kodiaks formed into an offensive formation forming into a loose skirmish line a volley of missiles from the lead Kodiak harmlessly detonated against the Hamburg’s heavy shields.
“Launch fighters return fire do we have a firing solution for the main cannons yet?”
“Yes captain both barrels are ready to fire.” Replied lieutenant Freemont.
“Open fire!” Rostov Barked
The ship lurched backwards from the recoil of the discharge one of the slugs went wide of its target just grazing the shields but the second hit its target in the nose blasting a gaping hole through the center of the ship until it struck the main reactor causing the ship to explode in a violent fashion.
“Cannons are cooling sir our fighters have engaged their fighter screen.” Said Freemont
“Unlock Missile pods A1 through A26 fire a full salvo at the cruiser trying for our left flank.”
The horizon erupted with several small points of light as the powerful thermo nuclear warheads streaked across space and impacted the shields of the flanking cruiser causing them to ripple and finally failed a second volley tore several holes in the ships hull heavily damaging its engines and power core it limped along fully disabled for the moment.
“Something is not right here why would they send only four light cruisers to deal with a battle fleet?” Rostov Mused No sooner had the words left his mind a fleet of one hundred twenty Solar Empire Ships entered the sector.
“What’s the Eta on the fleet?” Rostov Asked he felt the blood in his veins turn to ice.
“Twenty minuets sir.”
“Kindly ask the admirals to haul ass we wont last that long”
The Hamburg lurched as the newly arrived fleet turned its guns on the Hamburg.
“Report!” He Barked
“Shields at 67% sir”
“Take Evasive action keep us out of range of that fleet fire a full missile volley at those remaining Kodiaks Recall our fighters I wan a full fighter screen prepare to fire the main cannon at my command”
The Hamburg began a wide turn bringing its broad side around to face the enemy fleet its entire port side erupted in a violent missile barrage that tore into the remaining two Kodiak Cruisers disabling one and tearing the other apart in a violent explosion. The missiles who had been too late to engage their previous targets reacquired to target a small cobalt class frigate that had over extended its self from the rest of the fleet.
“Sir Port missile pods are empty auto reloaders will have them reloaded in five minuets.”
“Spin us around to starboard fire all reaming missiles on that side.”
The next missile volley slammed into a Solar Empire Redeemer Class battle-cruiser detonating against its shields. The Hamburg flew backward drawing its self out f range with its powerful engines.
“Fire the main cannons at that battle cruiser.”
“Firing now captain.”
The Hamburg lurched backward; the two enormous slugs both hit the Redeemer Broad side shearing it in half. The Hamburg Reloaded its missiles and fired a full volley at it attackers again but a pair of interdiction ships closed in on the Hamburg and trapped it in a powerful stasis field rendering it unable to move. The Hamburg lurched as it was bombarded by heavy plasma cannons.
“Captain Shields are at 22% we won’t last much longer!” Said Preston Franticly
“All power to the shields hold them off for as long as possible Fire a volley at that interdictor if we can’t maneuver we are dead.” Rostov Said keeping a level head.
A missile volley impacted against the interdictors heavy shields but they did not falter. The Hamburg shook as violently as her shields failed and the heavy plasma bolts began to impact the hull large portions of the hull plating were sheered off several decks were vented into the vacuum several crew members were instantly killed. As the enemy battle cruisers guns recharged and prepared for a kill shot the United Colonies mars defense fleet entered the system. A Freedom-Class Battle ship appeared out of warp along with the UAC navy and imposed it self like a great bulwark in front Hamburg soaking up the incoming fire like a sponge. It returned fire ripping several ships to shreds it’s extremely heavy shields suffered no damage even though several heavy cruisers and a pair of battle cruiser were firing a nearly ceaseless barrage at it.
“Can we get a message through to the fleet Ensign Tao?”
“No sir our communications are completely out we can’t even use signal lights to signal with Morse code.” Tao replied
Off in the distance the sitting great defiance to their enemies the Galactic Guardian stood alone on the enemies’ flank. The Guardian was the flag ship of the United Colonies Navy. It battled with two Solar Empire dreadnoughts at point blank range the pinnacle of United Colonies engineering. A third Solar empire Dreadnought approached the Galactic Guardian it was covered will hull breaches and looked like a towering inferno as it streaked toward the Guardian at ramming speed if it struck the unarmored command tower the guardians entire command crew would be killed and at the moment it was carrying the bulk of the UC high command. The guardian tried to evade but its size made it too sluggish the Solar Empire dreadnought impacted the Galactic Guardians command bridge. The Solar empire fleet began to retreat defeated but having struck a crushing blow to the UC navy.
As the battle field cleared of enemy ships and the sounds of battle fell silent a lone shuttle craft docked with the Hamburg a loud tap resonated from the bridge hatch Rostov unlocked the hatch and it slid open a man in a Rear Admirals uniform stepped through the hatch.
“Officer on deck!” Rostov barked and stood attention His bridge crew followed his example
“At ease Captain. Permission to come aboard?” The rear admiral asked
“Permission granted sir welcome aboard the Hamburg or what’s left of her any ways. Did the Admiralty survive the on Galactic Guardian?” Rostov replied
“Unfortunately the entire command crew was killed witch leaves us at loss of leader ship. I warned the admirals that it was stupid to all be on the same ship during a battle.” The Rear Admiral Said Hotly
“It was rather foolish wasn’t it? But what can you do they are dead already and there is little we can do I suppose that the senate will move for war and be promoting new admirals?” Inquired Rostov
“Most likely. I bet they make you an admiral and give you a medal. Four Kodiaks, two battle cruisers and one Cobalt. not a bad kill record for a lone destroyer I know me and my crew could not have done as well. We have orders to tow your ship to Saturn for repairs you and your crew are on leave you are wanted for a military briefing by the senate on earth in two days so enjoy your leave.” The Rear admiral replied
I have had some life issues that have dug into my time. But hey what can you do lets see an overall summary of my recent activities.
I passed the Novella off to Eli for a peer review props to her for doing that for me.
Also for some more Novella insperation i been watching episodes of Star Trek and the Movies and gained a good feel for the ebb and flow of space combat in that series ive also been looking into the typse of combat used in star wars. It mostly a combonation of Late battle ship era combat and early Carrier era style. Were as star trek feels more like the early battle ship eran and a bit like the midevil era with the raming tactics and boarding parties frequently employed. I hope to integrate this into the next section of my novella the way i have combat flowing now is more like early battle syhip era with close quarters fighting and battle line ETC i may break it up into some more chaotic brawls ALA the End off Mass Effect were all hell borke loose. or Perhaps in the episode of DS9 were the klingons attempted to attack deep sapce nine.
For Pysics i finshed my first assignment and thanks to Jacob recived the second witch i will work on later this week would do it today but my book is at home not here with me.
Algebra II Some one kick me in the head and remind me to put some work into it ima try to do 45 mins or more a day from now on.
Also As a fun little thing i came up with while watching Star Trek i wrot a couple of star trekesque Captains logs with i will post below
Captains Log Star date 87751.19
The upper port warp nallece malfunctioned again has not been working well since our last encounter with the Carsassian’s. I will have to get it replaced after we reach Deep Space Nine. Though I have to say I am glad to be out of Romulan Space in fact I won’t complain if I never see another Romulan War Bird but that just me complaining again. I was approached by Doctor Psycho My CMO today he drug me off to sick bay for avoiding my physical again. I know he means well but he has to be the only one on the ship as stubborn as I am I swear he will never slack off he deserves another promotion I should file the paper work and see if can get him promoted. Our last battle went very poorly we engaged two Cardassian Cruisers Successfully destroying both but we took heavy damage our self suffering multiple hull breaches and having our forward Tetroyn beam array disabled My hope is that we can reach DS9 Unmolested so that we can make direly needed repairs.
Captains Log Supplemental:
We were unexpectedly engaged by a force of Starfleet ships that appeared to come from a mirror universe lucky several other Starfleet vessels Were in the area to provide support with the damage we sustained we would have not survived the battle after eliminating as much opposition as we could we withdrew and are now preparing to dock at DS9. Upon our arrival at DS9 I was informed that some commander had a request for me some nonsense about Vulcan’s and Bajoran’s and land rights that I personally did not give a damn about. But I did as I was asked I had nothing better to do while my ship was being repaired any way. After procuring some entertainment provisions and throwing out a few bribes I was able to trade self sealing steam bolts for the Bajoran’s land allowing the silly temple to be built. After all that nonsense I retreated to the bar and relaxed with a bottle of chateau Picard and my cute fuzzy little tribble. I also eavesdropped on the conversation of a few other captain’s which kept me thourogly entertained until I dozed off I was rudely awakened by a buzz from my comm. badge. My Chief Engineer decided to tell me that repairs had been completed and that we had been given new orders to patrol the Bajoran Sector. I groaned and beamed back to my ship awaiting our impending mission and hoping that we were not going to be given a difficult assignment.
And for mumber 2
Captain’s Log Star date 87751.20
Today was one of mixed feelings after a long engagement with a Jem ‘Hadar battle ship the USS Churchill our home now for many months was damaged beyond repair as a last ditch effort to destroy us the Jem’ Hadar Ship Rammed Us full broadside were our shields were down the impact was devastating thirty people died the Churchill was sent barreling toward the systems sun were able to stabilize the ships tumble long enough to get all remaining personnel off the ship with our shuttle craft. One of the Casualties was my own spouse leaving me in a great grief as we were rescued by the U.S.S Kirk When we reached Earth Admiral Quin applauded me and said i was a fine captain. I felt like the worst captain in the universe but i could do nothing I Was promoted To Captain and given the choice of my next ship after discussing it in the lounge we decided to go with a newly requisitioned Intrepid Class Cruiser My CMO Jokingly stated we should call her the Psychotic. The name stuck and reminded us we should avoid psycho ramming ships. It took a while to get acquainted with our new home but as soon as i was able to get away from my duties I went to my ready room and wept over the picture of my late spouse. I apparently shut my self in my Ready room for too long because there was soon a buzz at the door from the new ship councilor some Vulcan Woman N’tal Or something she called her self. I let her in and vented to her her attempts to reconcile me were not as futile as i thought and soon we were under way back At DS9 As soon as we arrived Captain Kirkland Gave us orders to search the badlands for some raider out post run by the Jem ‘Hadar needless to say it did not take long for us to get there i wanted blood and i was going to get it. We made quick work of the light resistance in the system and beamed down to the raider outpost my away team and I encounter more resistance that expected but a few extra grenade between my self and Brak’dun made quick work of our enemies we rescued some one related to the famous Commander Ryker and some of his people and help them gain back their supplies and rigged some Enemy warheads to explode blah blah blah. And We finally killed the Outposts commander and returned to the U.S.S Psychotic Victorious and my need for Jem ‘Hadar Blood had been appeased for now. As my adoptive Klingon Father always said you put your family and your honor above all else and you should always avenge your families honor. He was a wise man.
Hope you enjoy guys expect more novella updates soon Cheers.
On Monday I recived my Physisc assighnmet at least i think it was monday and began looking at thae
On Tuesday I was doing some mantinece on my computer so i did not achive as much as i would like.
Today i Worked on this blog 
and Edited my novella a bit and plan to work on my physiscs tonight.
Now we learn how greg and Sean came to be together.
It was seven years ago mid spring a monsoon of rain storm had been falling for days Sean had been on his way back from a shift as a bartender when he had seen two thugs hassling a poor young man who had obviously no idea how things worked in the mid city. Sean had hurried over and placed the barrel of a pistol firmly into the back of each mans head and had told them to drop their weapons and start running. They of course complied but no sooner had they had made it half way down the block two shots rang out from across the street and the both fell dead on the ground. Sean looked over the young man who was sitting on the ground soaking wet and shivering a long cut ran his face. Sean lifted him to his feet and whispered into his ear. “Come on these streets are not safe let get you cleaned up.” Sean carried the young man to the office of Doctor Nikola Petrov one of the best doctors in the United Colonies who lost his medical license in a medical accident that ended in the death of a senator. In the years since doctor Petrov had become something of a crime lord. After being a mob doctor for so long he had finally rose to power in latter years and any one who lived in his district had a much better life. Sean had known the doctor since he was a child. The doctor opened the door before Sean could even knock.
“What have you brought me this time my boy?” Doctor Petrov asked stroking his long white beard.
“Some thugs were hassling him I ran them off the cut him at least once and I think he has a broken wrist not to mention he is cold.” Sean answered.
“Bring him inside then lay him on the table and let me have a look and get those wet clothes off of him quickly before hypothermia sets in!”
Sean brought the young man in and lay him on the doctors medical table he began to strip him down he tried to protest but was too weak. Sean carefully removed the young mans clothes as the doctor entered the room with a bag of medical instruments. He pulled a small instrument that shot out a hot beam of plasma and used it to cauterize the wound along the man’s jaw line. He looked at the man’s wrist with his glasses witch allowed him to do any thing from x rays to MRI’s. “His wrist is shattered I will need to refabricate the bones. The doctor produced several devices and used a special foam to refabricate living bone matter after several minuets he cauterized the wound the heated table brought the young mans body up to a safe temperature. “He is stable and conscious perhaps he can tell us his name.” The doctor said in his usual soft caring voice.
The young man opened his eyes and in an almost inaudible voice said. “My name is Greg.”
From that day forward Sean and Greg had been together Sean took Greg under his wing and had taught him the rules of the street. Greg was never defenseless on the street again. From that day forward they always traveled together.
for today i will post a bit of the novella
Earth the birth place of humanity, the year is 3256 earth was now the center of commerce of a circle of 27 other worlds that man had colonized since the discovery of warp technology. Earth had changed much its oceans had been drained and giant planetary city now covered 51% of the planet. The rest of the planet was covered by a vast rain forest. The City held a population of over twelve-billion the rest lived in small villages in the rain forest tightly regulated by the planetary government.
The city was known as a beautiful and sprawling metropolis filled with life and people. It was known as being safe and a good place to live. If you lived in the upper and upper mid city but further down people without the money to live amongst the upper and middle class were forced into the lower parts of the city. The upper middle city was mostly safe still patrolled by loyal governmental police but the middle and lower city was home to crime syndicates and gang warfare it was never safe to be out on the streets alone or unarmed. Every citizen who lived there posses a weapon and for most it was their prized position. Whether it be a simple firearm or a complex laser or plasma weapon it was the only way one would survive is if he could fight.
Adding to the turmoil of the lower city a great war was brewing amongst the galaxy before the successions Earth had seven hundred colonies and they were all united. But now they had split into seven empires. With earth and its surrounding worlds being the smallest but the most advanced technologically. The earth and her still united colonies were barley holding their borders and were menaced on all sides by enemies. Hundreds of thousands of refugees fled into the united colonies and many came to the lower city of earth bolstering the ranks of the gangs and syndicates because a lack of paying works in the middle and lower city. For many people fear was a constant and death lingered out side their very doors this is the story of two men in their struggle to live a good life amid the turmoil of their world.
Sean awoke to the sounds of weapon discharges beyond his front door. His hand reflexively went for the laser rifle beside his bed, he slipped out of bed and creeped over the security terminal he keyed on the camera drones the showed a view of the street in witch two small groups of men were exchanging weapons fire out using their hover cars for cover.
“Damn Gangbangers fighting all night never giving a man a moment of sleep. “ He muttered in a hushed tone.
As Sean stood watching the battle rage out side his partner stirred in bed he rose up and stifled a yawn.
“What time is it baby?” He muttered tiredly.
“About 4:30 in the morning. Go back to sleep Greg.” Sean said in a light tone
“Come back to bed honey their fight is in the streets and their not going to break in here.” Greg said tiredly
Sean walked back over to the bed he leaned his laser rifle against the wall by his night stand, He crawled into be and Greg tossed the covers over him. Sean wrapped his arms around Greg’s muscular torso kissed him lightly on the forehead and drifted off to sleep. Morning came swiftly as Sean woke up Greg was still in his arms he lie their gazing at Greg’s sleeping from. Greg was a handsome man with short dark hair and an athletic build the kind of man women and men alike lined up for, but Sean had found him first.
I am going to Put All My missed posts into one mega post so bear with me.
IN the LAst Ten Days I Have both Revised and reedited my Novella it is now up to 22 pages and flows very well. The charedters are unique and well developed for now. The story how ever has a bad habit of picking up and slowing down i am trying to come up with a way to keep it more gripping and im thinking about making less dialogue and perhaps adding more action to the overall plot. I still have some sentence fluency errors that need to be addressed and some dialogue needs to be rewritten to make more since. I have also Been reading Other Sci fi writers novels to add to my own knowledge to see how their dialogue and character description works.
added 4 pages to the novella as well as worked on revison one again used stacpole’s work to gain some more insight into charecter development.
Added 2 more pages to the novella once again did a full revison turned the story in a new direction added another story line into the first one. I took a look at the writing style of michael a stackpole to look at his supirior cahrecter development,
I Added 4 more pages to the novella as well a revised my previos pages. I spent a bit of time reading some of Timothy Zahn’s work to atain how the flow of a battle may look.
